Redefining Motherhood

Ep 36 - Self Care for Health and Wellness with Dr. Orlena Kerek

October 07, 2022 Lynn Turcotte-Schuh, Dr. Orlena Kerek Season 2 Episode 2
Redefining Motherhood
Ep 36 - Self Care for Health and Wellness with Dr. Orlena Kerek
Show Notes Transcript

Dr Orlena trained as a pediatric doctor. She now works as a health coach, teaching busy women to lead their most healthy life in a way they love. So they can feel amazing, lead a long life and teach their kids healthy living habits.

What we discuss in this episode:

  • Dr. Orlena shares her journey about how she wasn't showing up like she wanted to for her kids and in life and what she did to change that.
  • How parenting is hard, but when we show up for ourselves first then we can show up for our kids.
  • If we don't learn emotional wellness for ourselves, we can't model it for/teach it to our kids.
  • Why self care is not a luxury, it's an integral part in keeping us healthy and well...also what can happen if we don't take care of ourselves.
  • Dr. Orlena's Four Pillars: Healthy Eating, Movement That Lights You Up, Sleep and Managing Stress.
  • It's not just about health, it's about your energy, enjoying life to the fullest and truly living...and it all starts with self care.
  • Tools for managing the big emotions and high hormones of the postpartum period.
  • What mirror neurons are and how can understanding them help us gain emotional wellness.
  • Inspiration to help us make the changes we need to make in order to be well and prioritize ourselves.

Resources and Links:

Connect with Lynn on instagram @HappyMamaWellness. Looking for more support with parenting and motherhood? Get your first month in the Happy Mama Wellness Community here!

Connect with Lynn on instagram @HappyMamaWellness. Looking for more support with parenting and motherhood? Get your first month in the Happy Mama Wellness Community here!

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

It's not a knowledge gap. It's a doing gap. Those words went straight to my soul. Guilty as charged, I thought, I know what I'm supposed to do to take care of myself, I preach self care to the mamas that I mentor. Self Care is nothing new, but it still took near burnout a few weeks ago to get myself to take it seriously. So when COVID hit, my wife was laid off from her job. And at the time, I had two part time jobs totaling about 10 hours per week. That left me plenty of time and energy to juggle being a mama teaching homeschooled my first grader and running my business. Now, don't get me wrong, it was still exhausting and a lot of work. But I rarely felt burnt out. When my wife got laid off, I increased those two jobs to 25 hours per week, and picked up a third for four hours per week. And in the same period, COVID surged my anxiety to a level even higher than what I had experienced postpartum. And then my daughter began having anxiety that fall, and second grade was a little more demanding than homeschool had been in the past. Oh, and I was still trying to run my business. Now, almost three years later, I can't even believe I just said that. My wife has a full time job that provides for our family. But I'm still in that same schedule. I'm still working almost 30 hours per week for other people trying to build my business and homeschool and now third grader, and several weeks ago, it all came to a head, I broke down from being burnt out. Why? Because in all of these changes, making time for self care, so that I had the energy and stamina for this new routine was nowhere to be found. For more than two years, I've been preaching prioritizing yourself, but not putting it into practice as much as I really wanted to. Last month inside our community was all about building better habits. So I decided to buckle down, I put exercise and meditation on my calendar with the same permanence as the meetings that I had to attend. So day one came, and I went up to the bedroom to meditate. And before I could even get the music on, I realized that there was like three loads of laundry dumped on our bed. So of course, I folded the laundry. And then I looked at the clock and realized I had no time left for meditation. I felt completely defeated. I didn't even bother with day two. And then I had this chat with Dr. Or Lena on the broadcast and it changed everything for me. So self care that term. The idea of it has kind of become background noise for us mamas. It's something we know we need to do, but it somehow never gets done. But when Dr. Or Lena talked about being healthy, being well, so that we had the energy to do the things we want to do and live the life we want to live for as long as possible. That really hit me. I went into this conversation with Dr. Or Lena as one of you a burned out overwhelmed mama who desperately needs to prioritize herself but can't really find the motivation to do so. I came out of it with a new sense of hope, a new mission to be healthy so that I can have a long life and a new sense of urgency that is helping me say no to the laundry and sit in the middle of the clean clothes if I have to to do you mind meditation. I am still a work in progress. But this conversation really inspired me and I know it will do the same for you. Hello, hello and welcome to redefining motherhood, the podcast for Mama printers who really love their kiddos but are overwhelmed and burnt out from the day to day of motherhood. I am Lynn Turcotte-Schuh Mama mentor, founder of The Happy Mama Wellness community and your host redefining motherhood is all about letting go of society's expectations and digging deep to figure out what you want your motherhood experience to feel like and you're not doing it alone. My guests and I are here to inspire you, motivate you and help you be a truly happy mama. So today's guest is Dr. Or Lena she is a trained pediatric doctor. She now works as a health coach teaching busy women to lead their most healthy life in a way that they love. So they can feel amazing and lead a long life and teach their kids really good healthy living habits. So doctor, or Lena, we are so excited to have you on the podcast today. Would you like to share anything else about yourself or maybe about your journey?

Dr. Orlena Kerek:

Well, first of all, just thank you so much for having me and allowing me to come and chat with you. Well, what can I tell you? I'm from the UK. I live in Spain. I do have a journey that I share. I think I have four kids and when we moved to Spain I accidentally lost my career. wasn't this, oh my goodness, I'm just gonna move to Spain and stop being a doctor, I kind of thought that I was going to be in clinical medicine here, I will say I moved to Spain with my Eyes Wide Shut. So that for me was almost a loss of identity and all of those, that noise, that emotional stuff coming through. For young kids, I have four children who are very close in age. So I had for under the age of four and a half, they're all big now and grown up not grown up the oldest is 14. And I think at that time, I just have this like, Oh, my goodness, this isn't who I want to be this kind of grumpy person who is living the dream life. Yet, inside, there's just this discontent. And I could see myself being grumpy with my children and just not showing up the way I wanted to. And that was really what sparked me to Well, number one, really absorb everything that I could on mindset and how our brains work, and how we can use our brains in a positive way. But also to really look after myself as well. Because although I was eating reasonably healthily, not, you know, there was room for improvement. I wasn't doing any exercise at all. And it was really that impetus to start work on myself. And that was many years ago. So now I've got a system that's easy that I teach my clients. But just, it's easy and fun and enjoyable. And I always say, You know what, I live a life of luxury. And I don't mean, hey, I've got a super yacht in St. Louis. I mean, I get to go swimming in the sea, and I get to cycle and, you know, I really love my life. And it's broken down into family bits, I have normal kids, their drive you insane, but I have the tools to manage that. And I have, you know, a life where I'm exercising and moving myself and loving it and my business that I love. So you know, that's what I mean by life as luxury I lead in life of luxury.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

That is brilliant. So that is resonating so much, because what we find with with our moms that we work with is that they're in that same position of like, I thought I was doing all the things I was supposed to do to have this beautifully joyful life. And I'm like dying inside, like, going through the motions. So this is going to be I was excited about the discussion anyways. But it's, it falls right into our messaging that we've got to get away from all the we should be doing this and just follow our light and follow our joy, and find the stuff that that makes us happy. So that's brilliant, I'm gonna use that I'm living a life of luxury, but it just means that I can sit and read a book when I want to. That's brilliant.

Unknown:

I think people don't really tell us how hard parenting is going to be none of those books prepare you for how hard parenting is going to be. And I always say the best thing we can give our own kids is our own happiness. And the second best thing you can give your kids is vegetables. Like all the teaching our children healthy habits. But really, and I know it might sound a little bit trite, oh, it's all about our own happiness. But the reality is, is that once we start looking after ourselves and taking care of our emotions, including our own happiness, we show up with bells on like, we're not always perfect. But when when our energy's low, and we're not looking after ourselves, that's when you start snapping at your kids, or I start snapping at my kids. And when we're not aware of this, and we're thinking, oh my goodness, what am I doing wrong? Well, once you're once you've got that energy to go, okay, my kids are being challenging right now. I can cope with that. Because I'm looking after myself. And when you're not looking after yourself, you feel overwhelmed, and you can't, you can't look off yourself. And I think as well. The other aspect is that How do children learn emotional wellness? How do they learn to look after themselves physically, they learn from demonstrating they learn by copying basically. So if we do show up as a happy person, they are going to grow up to be happy. This is not to say there's not going to be challenges along the way. Of course, there is always apparent when kids but they're going to they're going to learn emotional wellness from you. And I think that is a really amazing gift that we can give our kids.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

I'm sitting here on the video I will I will read you that I'm sitting here on the video and just nodding up and down. Yeah, yes. Good. So let's, let's unpack the couple of brilliant things that that were there. First of all, we talk about modeling around here all the time, right that our kids are going to do as we do not as we say and it is when part of showing up for ourselves is showing up for them. So if we can take the guilt away from from taking care of ourselves and prioritizing ourselves, we can see that what's good for us is ultimately really good for them in multiple ways. And so I love that perspective. One. The other part here is that at the beginning, you said something that I'm going to quote now, I'll make sure to give to give credit to you whenever I use it. But you said, there's not a knowledge gap here, there's a doing gap, right? So nothing that we are about to say in this podcast episode is going to be new information. It's all the same stuff that we've heard. But we've got to figure out a way to get ourselves motivated, right, so we've all heard, you can't pour from an empty cup, we've all heard we need to incorporate self care into our day. And this is, this is the nitty gritty of it, you can't pour from an empty cup means if you don't have anything to give, then your kids aren't getting anything. Right. Like, there's this, there's this gap. So I love that what we're about to talk about is, you already know all of this, you already know what to do. So let's figure out how to actually get you to do it. It's brilliant. It's really, um, okay, so I just said, self care. And I said, get bored from an empty cup. These have become kind of cliches, I feel like we hear them so often, they just kind of fade into the background. And they're not priority, not not priorities for us. But you put a really different spin on it and saying, Okay, let's not necessarily call it self care, let's just talk about our basic health and wellness. Like, let's make sure we are taking care of ourselves, so that we have health and wellness in our life. So if we're going to put a little bit of a spin on this a little perspective shift. Can we just talk about that for a moment? As far as what it means to be healthy? And well, and what does that look like?

Unknown:

I have a really easy system. And yeah, I totally get what you're saying people these days go, Oh, I'm going to eat this cupcake or something. It's self care, I need to indulge or self care is having a bath. Now self care might be having a bath? Actually, I would consider that. But I think this idea that self indulgence is looking after myself is misguided. And it's not about indulging. Yes, of course, I'm not saying you should never indulge as long as you do it intentionally. And I think that is part of the key. So the way I teach healthy living, I have Dr. Lena is four pillars of health. And you will probably notice that these four pillars of health are very similar to many other doctors, four pillars of health. And you know, sometimes they have five pillars, it depends how you divide them up. But the reality is, is the reason for this is because they're evidence based, they are based on science. And you know, we talked about, Oh, you don't have a knowledge gap? Well, I know it can be confusing that, you know, one expert will say, Hey, do this and another expert will say hey, do that. So, you know talking about exactly what are the things that you need to do is important. So pillar number one is loving, healthy eating and healthy eating? Well, I will tell you what my idea of healthy eating is lots of fruits and vegetables, things like lentils, and legumes, and less packaged foods. That's in a nutshell, I tend to teach what I do teach the Mediterranean style diet, which and the reason is because there's more evidence for that than other things, although plant based is now really coming to the forefront and Mediterranean is plant based. Now that doesn't mean you have to exclude all meat, it just means eat a little bit less meat all the time. So you know, I could go into nitty gritty but I think in big nutshells we know vegetables are good for us. I think pretty much everybody knows that vegetables are good for you. And they know that highly processed foods aren't good for you. So those two things are not debatable point anybody out there. And I think the other key really to this is to enjoy healthy foods. And sometimes people take to it like a duck to water yet they love healthy foods. Sometimes people have to teach themselves how to love healthy foods or rather I have to teach them love helping people. And you know if you've been brought up on a diet of highly processed food, that's what you're used to. And it's not your fault that it isn't natural to eat fruit and vegetables. But the good news is you can train yourself you can learn to love healthy fruits and vegetables. But you can see that if you enjoy eating healthily, it's much easier to eat healthily than if you don't enjoy it. So that's pillar one to two is a movement or exercise that lights you up. And again, I think that key is that lights you up. It doesn't work if Do you have to go to the gym, and you know, you're trying to pretend you like it, but really and truly, you don't like it and you're thinking I have to do this because I have to get fit because my doctor tells me I have to or because I know it's going to help me lose weight. It has to be something you enjoy doing. So for me, I swim in the sea. So I will tell you, I've just come back from a swim and I cycled to the beach, and I forgot to take my goggles, and swim. Like, oh, goodness, this is a disaster. And so you can see, I sort of, even though I my routine is a bit all over the place at the moment because my kids have just gone back to school. But I'm like, How can I get a swim in today, I'm going to go by myself, none of my friends could go, I'm going to even swim a little bit. Even if I haven't got my goggles because I love it so much. I don't get to the edge of the sea and go, Oh, that's it, I'm gonna cycle back now I'm like, Okay, it's gonna be difficult to swim. But I'll just do a little bit because I love it so much. And that's where you don't have to do swimming. But that's where you need to be in a place of this gives me energy. This helps me it gives me all those endorphins, it really lights me up. It's part of my routine, I need to do this for the sake of my children so that I'm not back from FEMA. My husband says we have some coffee, he's like, go go get another three is sleep. Sleep is super, super important. And I know if you've got young kids, you might be thinking, don't talk to me about it is difficult when we've got young kids, but there is a lot that we can do to prioritize sleep. And then pillar number four is emotional wellness. And this is a piece that I really, really liked. Because I used to think that emotions fell from the sky. But you know, if you are upset or angry or sad about something in your life, you just basically had to sit it out until you know you changed. But that's not true. It's not true at all, we have so much control over our emotions. And we can generate positive emotions. And we can minimize negative emotions. Now, I don't mean, those negative emotions never happen. I mean, we don't get knocked sideways by those negative emotions. And so this can show up in lots of different areas, it might show up as emotional eating, which is something that I work on a lot with my clients, because it is such an important aspect of healthy living. If you can take that out of the equation and get a good relationship with food, it makes it so much easier to enjoy healthy foods, and just stick to eating healthy foods, which is going to help you either lose weight or lead a long and healthy life and have lots of energy. But pillar number three might be stress, like stress is very important as well. And let's face it, we're all stressed about something, whether it's our kids, our business, or work, finances, family, friends, there's a long list of things to be stressed about. It's important that we manage our stress, because stress is not good for us in any way whatsoever. And then, you know, thinking about your relationship with yourself and your relationship with other people as well. So those are the four basic pillars. And then the idea is you have habits and systems and routines in all of those pillars. And it's almost like you're building a foundation, you build on one, then you build another one. And then you build another one. So you're building up, up up, but you have not, you know, you just do all of this naturally so that you're doing it all without thinking about it. It's not like you have to think oh my goodness, I have to eat healthy today. No, you get to the stage where that is just how you eat because you enjoy eating like that. And because you've built up this routine, and you've built up, that's how your life works. And the idea is you do that with all four pillars and your love in your life. It's not just about health, it's about energy levels, it's about enjoying your life, it's about leaving your life to the full and making sure you do all the things that you want to do. And that to me is basically self care and looking after ourselves and being healthy. Okay, so

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

we started with the term self care that seems to fall in the background and everyone equates with take a bubble bath with some candles around you. Right? And you have given us so much meat like not the not the dietary meat but the like stuff that our soul and our spirit can latch on to right so let let me just review for my own self. The four pillars which are brilliant are our healthy eating but loving it like really taking joy from eating foods that give us energy and life. Making sure that we are moving and exercising in ways that light us up and that give us joy and energy in life. Making sure we're sleeping so that our body has time to restore itself and, and heal. Yeah, and then the emotional piece, which I think, especially for moms, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. But from my perspective, working in moms working with moms rather like during the fourth trimester, especially, I feel like that piece gets lost in the shuffle. Because there's not a light on it. It's just kind of like, Yeah, this is an emotional time, just get through it. And we don't stop and actually think about how to process those emotions. And that it's okay to feel that way. And that there are things we can do to change that up. So I'd love your thoughts on that. But I also want to point out that there was a theme when you were talking about all four of those pillars, and all four of them had this piece of like, it needs to bring new joy, it needs to, like, make you feel excited. And that maybe is the missing piece for a lot of people. They just try to go through the motions. They think find the things. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, those are your thoughts on those two?

Unknown:

Well, I think you know, you're talking about the fourth trimester. And let's face it, the fourth trimester is really, really, really difficult. Well, it's particularly if it's your first job, it's a huge adjustment. And it's not just about emotions, but it's also about hormones, there are so many hormones skyrocketing around your body. And I remember, like being happy when I had my first baby, but watching an advertisement on television for a bank of all things and being in floods of tears, and just thinking what on earth is? Yeah, and what am I, like, I don't know what it was, I was just like fat that like, you know, lack of sleep, hormones, all of those things. So you know, that is a really difficult time, it's a huge adjustment, there is a certain amount of you do just have to get through it. And what I would say is, if you've got any kind of help, then take as much help as you possibly can. And if you can get as much sleep as you possibly can, if that means sleeping in the middle of day, if you can, I know not all people can. So it depends on your circumstances. So it is difficult, but you can make it worse or better if you have those emotional tools. So really the thing about emotional wellness, when you have tools, and this is where bubble bath comes in or bath is that you understand you're self aware of these emotions. So you might feel a negative emotion, but you are self aware to see that that negative emotion is happening. And then you've got the tools to change it. So when I'm talking about emotional eating, for example, I'm thinking about what negative emotion are you trying to run away from? So perhaps it's stress? But Question number one, how do you reduce stress in your life? I mean, there are practical things that you can do. And there are also mindset things that you can do. And then question number two is, well, what positive emotion are you gaining from that food? And then the next question is, well, how do you get that from something else that isn't food. So it might be that you feel calm and relaxed and joyful? Well, how do you get there? Well, it might be for you that having a bath, helps you have that positive emotion. So if you could make a bet in that circumstances, if you could make having a relaxing bath, giving you joy and knowing that you're getting that joy from somewhere else. And you know, actually, bards and water are very good for young babies. So if you're in your fourth trimester, it's not a bad thing to try out. But essentially, if you can see what's going on, and you've got these tools, you can minimize what's going on. I always use this analogy, that you know, you're on a river, this is a big river. It's a very, very windy river. And without these tools, without emotional wellness, you get flung from side to side to side and you know, sort of crash and burn every three minutes. Now, if you have emotional wellness, it's like having a raft. You're still on the same river of life, the same twists and turns, but you have the ability to be able to maneuver yourself around these without, you know, crashing into the beach. It's a much smoother ride. And the idea is something happens you get upset that you process it, as opposed to it knocks you sideways for three days.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

I'm literally like getting goosebumps with that visual, like it's I'm a very visual person and that like getting knocked against the sides of the river. I'm like, I feel like that is some days in motherhood. But if we have the tools, then we're still going down that path. We're still gonna feel the fields, but we don't have to sit in them for so long we can process

Unknown:

and the important to talk about is relationships and kids and so you know, you're saying motherhood, it's like that. Well, yeah. One of the big reasons why it is like that for mothers It's because we have these things called mirror neurons. So, if you hear, for example, canned laughter on television, you want to laugh. If you listen to somebody laughing, it will start to make you smile, you have no idea what's funny, but you'll just smile. If somebody is angry and screaming in your face, which is what children are likely to do, because they have, you know, they have this emotional roller coaster going on. And we start to take on that anger as well, we start to feel that emotion and so we get sucked into their emotions. And that's not helpful. And that's what we find difficult about parenting is our children's huge, great emotions, which are constantly sort of inflicted on us. But it's the same with any relationship, you know, other people. And it can be more subtle when it's adult, it's not necessarily because of the mirror neurons, they do play an important part, but also things like expectations, and being made to feel in a certain way to understand those boundaries between okay, this is my emotions, these are my emotions. And those are your emotions, and I'm responsible for my emotions, and you are responsible for your emotions, and I'm not responsible for your emotions.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

That is brilliant. I'm literally like riding blindly, as I'm taking notes. As I'm listening to you. You're saying, so we round here, we call the interactions with our kids, but any other people, because our kiddos don't have this emotional intelligence, they don't have these emotional tools. So we call it bringing the calm not joining the chaos.

Dr. Orlena Kerek:

It's a really, really good friend.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

I love that so much. Okay, so, um, we are kind of at a crossroads here. At least I am right. And I bet a lot of other listeners and that I've, I've heard this information now for the 18,000 time. And I need to decide I'm you know, am I going to keep going down the same path of indifference, I guess, right, that someday will fix itself? Or am I going to stop? And am I going to make some changes? And I would love for you to share, like, what what, what could be down each of those paths, like what could be waiting for us download.

Unknown:

It's really, I call this your golden, you're golden opportunity when I was working in hospital, and I did a little bit of adult medicine. And I would look round that Ward and see the vast majority of people there and think if I could take them back 20 years, I could teach them all how to lead a healthy life, and they wouldn't end up in hospital. Now the reality is, Well, number one, I don't have a time machine. But that doesn't really matter. Because the vast majority of people are not going to make those changes. And there's lots of reasons why. Partly, our brains don't like doing things differently. And I can talk about that in a minute if you'd like. But, you know, this is that golden opportunity that people have, you can carry on now, it obviously depends what's going on for you and what your personal situations are. So it can depend from essentially, wherever you are now. The best case scenario is things aren't going to get any better if you don't make any changes. So it does depend where you are, if you're pre diabetic, things aren't going to magically change themselves. And unless you make changes. Now, it might be that you're a little bit overweight. Well, the problem with being overweight is that it is an indication it is a risk factor for other things. So heart disease, diabetes, all those nasty things. And it does depend on things like your family history and things like that. So it is very dependent on where you are. But the bottom line is things aren't going to get better magically, by themselves. Things can get worse. And, you know, without wanting to sort of be all doom and gloom, I think it is really important to lay that on the table. Because when we step back and look at the Western world, you know, if we look at what kills us, it is lifestyle things it is things that we can change. Yeah, exactly. But the good news is, well, you can change them and the vast majority of people. So it is easy to change. Well, I would say it's easy to change when you've got support and you know what you're doing. But if we flip that over and have a look at what is possible. And really I think the number one thing that people really need to grasp is yes, it is possible for you I'm not talking about doing a diet for a few months and then stopping I'm talking about actually committing and doing this and doing this work and creating this lifestyle. So it's not that you get what you get benefits immediately. But really, you're getting benefits in five years time in 10 years time in 40 years time. What do you want your life to look like? Unfortunately, we all get older, and you have a choice, you can get older and be energetic and vigorous and do as much as you can to be healthy. Or you can just let life happen to you and deal with what comes up. And I think that is the picture. And you know, again, if we look at statistics, if you lead a healthy life, you have every possibility of being vigorous and healthy into old age. Now, obviously, you can't, you can't predict the future. So you know, there are rare things that happen, you could be involved in accidents and things like that. However, it's still worth doing because you get benefits. Now, you get increased energy levels, you get loving your life, you also get that brain drag, which is, you know, your brain is going out to make changes, I would make change, and how do I do this? How do I do this, and it's constantly trying to solve a problem. That is something all your energy, and once you sort out how to do that, oh, my goodness, your brain is freed up and you can do all of the amazing things. I call that the habit very, that you know, if you're thinking if your thought is, and this used to be my thought years ago, what am I going to cook for dinner? Not that my kids are going to eat it anyhow, because my children are picky and only pasture well, they don't only eat pasta, but that's their favorite thing is and is this constant, constant light thing in the back of your brain, you're busy trying to get on with your day. And this keeps popping up and it keeps popping up. Now if you have a system now I don't even think about it, what I do I know what's going on, then I forget about it, essentially. And you've got a system. And it's almost like you give all of those thoughts to the habit fairy and just go, Okay, we've got it, we've sorted it out, we don't have to think about it anymore. I use the word weak, because I always think our brain is like lots of different people all talking at once. And I think the other thing that is really important, just going back to what I was saying at the beginning about how we don't believe it is going to happen to us is that our brains like to protect ourselves. So one of the exercises that I do when I talk to people, is this exercise of like actually specifically for you, what is it? What does this path look like? And what does that path look like? And the second path is what I call the possibility path. And people get really lit up and they're really excited. They're like Dr. Lena, your energy is amazing. I want to do this, this is definitely possible for me. And then you put the phone down or the zoom them. And you talk to someone else who isn't going Yes, yes, it can. And then suddenly, your brain flips into despondency. And that is your brain trying to protect you what it's basically saying is, hey, you know what? We're safe. We're not I love this, this is great. Let's not change anything. And another part of your brain is going but it can be so much better. And I think people genuinely don't, you know, there is that fear of change, and people think it's not going to work for me. And until you really grasp that, yes, it can work for you. I basically say to people look, if you've got a human mind and human body, you can figure it out. I can't sit here exactly right now and say, This is how you need to lead your life. There's a little bit of working it out, which is fun, working out what works for you. But if you have a human brain and a human body, there is no reason why you can't do all of these things, why you can't apply those four pillars. And anybody who tells me that they've got an excuse. Just don't you know, tell me an excuse where you think, Okay, I can't do some of those things. Yes, you have to do it within your capabilities. So it might be that you have problems with your knees, or that you do have things that you can't do. But within your circumstances, you can be more mobile or less mobile, and you can eat more healthily or less healthily. And those are basically the choices you need to make. And essentially, you get to choose which do you want and it comes back to that path. Okay, I choose this path or that path.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

I love that so much. And we talk so much. Around here about our two buckets, right are two like emotional buckets of needing to control things in our life and meaning to be connected to ourselves, our our kids the world at large nature. And when if we can reframe some of this to be part of filling up that control bucket of like, oh, I can't control really if I get in an accident, but I can control that today. I'm not going to eat cake for dinner. I'm going to eat like exactly. Vegetables and fruits. like this, this could be helpful on so many levels, not just the four pillars of health, like it can flow into these other areas really easily.

Unknown:

Exactly, exactly. And a lot of people part of health, you know, weight loss and health are very closely together. So a lot of people want to lose weight. Well, the reality is you have no control over that weight. That number, what you can control is exactly what you say what you eat, and how you turn up with all the four pillars.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

love it so much. So you gave us the four pillars? So that's a really great starting point. Are there any like big? When I say big, I mean common? Are there any really common habits? That would be a really simple change? If someone's like, I want to take this path, but I don't even know where to start? Like, is there something simple we could start doing today? That would help us kind of jump?

Unknown:

In fact, I do a workshop on which one should you go? Which one should you work on first to figure out now I normally start people on the healthy eating, because it's easy, essentially. And you know, if you're going to think about some really easy changes, what I always say is eat more vegetables. And people always say I do eat vegetables. And I'm like I know but it's all about vegetables. People think I'm going to make it really complicated. No, it's really easy. Eat more vegetables, drink water, eat more vegetables, it doesn't have to be water, it can be tea or coffee, but stop drinking things like soda every single day, stop drinking, whether it's got sugar in it, or artificial sweeteners, just stop drinking those things. There are lots of things that you can drink, that don't contain sugar, or artificial sweeteners, like tea infusions, water with a slice of fruit in it or something like that. So you know, think about the worst thing that you do, and stop doing it so frequently. So you might say, Okay, I drink pot every single day, I can't imagine life without pot, okay, so just have it on Friday, then don't have it for six days. And then positive things that you can do are increase your vegetables, fruit and vegetables at every eating opportunity. And, yeah, people basically don't grasp this idea of how many vegetables they should be eating, I love that

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

you are speaking to a vegan, so I get it, and I will help spread the word.

Unknown:

I suspect that you eat lots of vegetables, but it is possible to be unhealthy and vegan, just being vegetarian, doesn't mean you aren't necessarily healthy, because there is vegetarian cake and vegan cake. So not. Yeah, and actually, as much as you know, I applaud you for being vegan, actually, you don't have to give up meat entirely now, giving up meat entirely. It's good for the planet and all these other things. And it is good for your health as well. But producing things, you know, if you think, Okay, I just can't give up meat or reduce the amount of meat that you eat, you don't have to go totally exclude something, if you go from eating meat every single day to eating meat once a week. That's amazing. Or if you go from, you know, three slices of meat a day down to one, you, you've got a third, it's a big change. So it doesn't have to be exclude things entirely. And I think there's a journey to be happy that you start off making some changes. And then you build on those changes. And then you make more changes and more changes as you start to realize that you do enjoy healthy eating.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

And that's exactly what happened with us. i To be honest, I sometimes am jealous of the meat eaters because I have to work really, really hard to make sure that our family is getting a you know, a variety of protein sources. And we're getting enough protein and like, because I want to make sure that we're healthy. But we did just what you said we started off and we said okay, we're going to only eat red meat once a week. And then I was like, oh, like only eating red meat once a week I feel better. And then we said okay, we're gonna stop eating red meat altogether. And then we slowly took out dairy. And then we slowly took out you know, other meats. And over the course of a couple of years, we we just went completely vegan and it's been it's been almost 10 years now it is not for everybody. So I'm not I'm not like saying people shouldn't go vegetarian or vegan but exactly what you said is what I have experienced in that we started making these small changes and and reducing and almost immediately I was like, Wow, I feel so good. And it made me want to keep going and want to keep making more small changes. So I love that advice. That's exactly how things went for us. Fabulous. Wonderful. Okay, I could talk to you forever. But believe it or not, it is our time is coming to an end here. Can you share with our listeners? How they can connect with you? What kinds of programs you offer? How can they work with you just tell us all of the good stuff.

Unknown:

Yes. Well, thank you so much for asking. Well, number one, I have a podcast, which comes out on Tuesday. It's called Fit and Fabulous at 40 and beyond. And I have an accompanying Facebook group so that people can chat to me because as much as I love podcasts, it does always feel a bit like talking to the voice, doesn't it?

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

Yes. And I have a book

Unknown:

called Building simple habits to healthy you. And you know, if people are really interested and think, you know, I actually really want to do this, I'm all in, I want to make these big changes. I have a group program, which is a group coaching program, and you're welcome to book a chat and have a chat to me about it. And I can explain how that works. But it is an amazing group program. And the women in it are fabulous, you know, normal people, but watching their transformations is just amazing. And I'm very honored to be you know, curating that group and helping people with that transformation.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

I love that so much. And I know you have I know that all the details are not finalized yet. But in a couple of weeks, you have an event coming up. We may not have a title or like a specific date or time yet, but can you share any information about that event?

Unknown:

I know I told you, I would have planned it all. But my brother came this week. I haven't done any of it. Yeah, I'm doing something called I haven't finalized the title. But it's basically on a getting unstuck. So this idea of why is it that we know all of this stuff. And yet we're I'm still not making changes? Yes, I know, I want to be healthy, I hear what you're saying this all sounds great. Yet still, I'm not making these changes. So it's going to be something around getting unstuck. And it's going to be at the end of October. And it will be you know, a bit of me talking and I will do some workshops as well. And those workshops, I tend to not have replays because people can be quite vulnerable when they come and talk to me about their I mean, they agreed to share whoever's in that group. But I don't really offer replay. So you have to come live to those. But don't worry, I do repeat them. So there's always another opportunity. And I will send you the link for that when it's ready.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

It's wonderful. So it'll be in our show notes, all the all the details that we didn't have right, the second will be down in our show notes. We'll make sure that everybody has that. Dr. Or Lena it has been it has been a pleasure speaking with you. I feel like you are a kindred spirit. But it's also been extremely inspiring, and motivating. It's like reignited this little fire in me to keep making small changes in other areas of my life. So thank you for that. To close out the show if you could give because most of our listeners are our moms with younger kids. A lot of them are running their own business. So if you could give a newer mom one piece of advice, what what would that be?

Unknown:

I think it's permission to look after yourself. I think that's what people need is permission to go Do you know what? It's okay, I can do this.

Lynn Turcotte-Schuh:

I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for having me. Hey, Mama, I know how valuable your time is. And I'm really honored that you spent some of it with me today. If you love this episode and want even more tools, resources, inspiration and support. We have a community of Mamapreneur that are working together to redefine motherhood by tackling mom guilt, overwhelmed burnout and more. Head on over to happy mama wellness.com forward slash community to join the movement. If you're feeling super inspired by today's episodes, I'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a review. Until next time, Mama stay